* A while back, a certain charming and respected angry black woman pointed out a mob of typically dismissive white males; I was a bit surprised to find myself among that mob.  "Not me!" I thought.  "All I was saying was that merit trumps gender quotas, and should." ABW's comments put me into uncomfortable shoes, probably some of the most uncomfortable I've worn in a while: being labeled as one of those who don't want to be educated.  So I asked a different charming and respected female writer friend for her unvarnished thoughts on my comment/position, and the whole kerfuffle, and she was kind enough to enlighten me on some things.  After quite a bit of thought, I've come to realize (1) I do carry more bias than I thought, and (2) that even at its very best, the world is still more full of hidden bias than those who are not its victims will ever realize. I'm forced to admit that much as I thought myself gender-blind and merit-focused, alas the bias shoes fit, if uncomfortably...I guess I'll probably never really be able to take them off.  And that is the real lesson for me: Bias needs to be identified because it cannot be eradicated, and to assume that it can be (or has been) eradicated is dismissive and does make you a part of the problem.  I'm grateful to the two aforementioned charming and respected women for helping me see how those uncomfortable shoes unconsciously affect every step I take, even when I think I am compensating enough to walk without a limp... Now as for not wanting to be educated: The day those shoes fit, feel free to cut me off at the knees.

Moving on...(this is a postpourri entry, after all...)

* My mad Texas Hold Em skills (aka "luck") won out.  I entered a tournament at the Air Force Base and came in 1st of 37. No one was more surprised about it than me.  Apart from a sweet  $100 gift card, I won a week's worth of braggin' rights for the Navy, right'chere at  Air Force HQ.  =)

* Going to be in Great Lakes, IL for a couple weeks in May, including Memorial Day weekend. (Nothing like being alone in a strange town over a long weekend...) Any one  in that neck of the woods want to meet up for dinner one evening or what have you? Email or post here if so. 

* Since getting settled in to Dayton, the reading pile has been adding up.  Latest Weird Tales, Talebones and Apex are on hand, don't get me started on novels and collections....  I did already slurp up the finale of Geoffrey Girard's CAIN XP11 in Apex.  I enjoyed this serialization quite a bit.  I predict there will be some criticism of the end feeling kind of cut short or emotionally rushed, especially given the twist the plot takes over the final installment, but I liked the way it ended nonetheless.  The story was unafraid to be dark and horrific in a Shakespearean tragedy sort of way, reminding me a bit in the denouement of Chelsea Quinn Yarbro's Dead and Buried.  CAIN XP11, over the course of four installments, managed to combine the guilty pleasures of a men's adventure series, serial killer documentaries, and some not at all overdone thematic brooding on the nature of good, evil, politics, aggressive violence and choice.  It was largely this serialized novel,  plus the stories like those by Cherie Priest, Gary Braunbeck, Mary Robinette Kowal, Ian Creasey--and of course Jennifer Pelland(!)--that earned my subscription renewal dollars when the time came last Xmas. Looking forward to reading the three great zines on hand....  Hopefully before the next issues arrive!

* I am dreadfully behind on emails and some writing commitments. Now that I am 98% settled in to Dayton, standby for a flurry of catching up.

* The compilation issue of The Sword Review #27 that contains my poem "Bearing His Crosses" is now available, alongside work by nancyfulda , stillnotbored , Terri Leigh Relf and many others.  Also, I've gotten word that they will be including the same poem in their yearly anthology (Distant Passages, Volume 3.)

* I set up my leave days for Armadillocon.  It may well be the only long distance con I get to for the rest of this year, so if you're going to be there, look me up!

* Well, back to bed, I guess. Darn after-work naps are going to have to stop, or I'll never get back on a regular sleep schedule...